Some Dude Reviews Movies

American Myth America is a young country. Younger, in context, than most of the other storied nations of the world. And, because of that, our nation's mythology is a bit different than other parts of the world. We don't have knights and castles and magic witches. No, the American mythology was formed when our country set its eyes westward. The American mythology was born when men and women set off from their homes and forged a life in untamed wilderness. That wilderness brought out the best in people. And the worst. And it brought out our myths. We traded knights for cowpokes, magic swords for six shooters, and dragons for deadly outlaws. Our castles were ramshackle towns in the middle of the desert, standing defiantly in the face of the natural order. A Genre is Born When the American film industry started, movies based on famous Old West tales were easy: there were no rights to speak of, they were adventurous and entertaining, and they celebrated the American spir...

RIP 'EM! This is one of my favorite movies. Full stop. Not because it is beautiful. Not because the acting is top notch (although Kurt Fuller is incredible). Not because the script is particularly insightful or revelatory. I love this movie because it is objectively terrible. It is so terrible, that it has become good. It's that rare unicorn of a movie. The filmmakers set aside all thoughts of taste and logic and committed to this bonkers world and made something hilarious and fun. No Holds Barred  is to professional wrestling what Rocky is to boxing: each film perfectly encapsulates the good and bad of their sport. Rocky  is a tale of an underdog who chases his dream down, no matter what, and is rooted in real human emotion. No Holds Barred is the quintessential professional wrestling movie: it features larger-than-life archetypical characters, ham-handed morality tale themes, and a world where men can murder each other on TV for great ratings. No Holds Barred ...

"You sucked my arm off!" I like heist movies. They are the rare opportunity for the audience to indulge in wish-fulfillment illegal enterprises. They are the story of a team of little guys striking back at the big guys. They sit comfortably, smack dab in the middle of drama and comedy. They ooze cool. And Steven Soderbergh, American auteur, is, in fact, a modern day master of the genre. He gave the world the Danny Ocean films, and added to his heist canon last year with the plucky Logan Lucky. Summary: Jimmy Logan is unlucky. His whole family is. His brother, one armed (I should say, one handed) Clyde, says the family is cursed. After losing his job, and on the brink of losing his daughter, Jimmy decides  enough is enough. He's going to do something drastic. And he has a heckuva plan. He's going to rob a bank. Or, more specifically, he's going to rob a NASCAR Speedway in North Carolina. Pros: A Good Crew:  You need a great rogue's gallery f...

Grapefruit (This took longer than I'd care to admit to draw) I'm a fan of comedies, but I get tired of the same old formulaic dross that Hollywood puts on the fast track and expects me to shell out hard-earned money for. And that's the problem with comedy: it IS highly formulaic. And that formula exists for a reason: often it is solid, it works, and it's easy to replicate. Great comedies put a new spin on that formula, though. Great comedies come along every once and a while and offer some new commentary on that formula. I don't know that Girl's Trip   is a great  comedy, but it is a nice enough disruption on the by now tried-and-true hard-R comedy to have given me an afternoon's delight. Summary: A group of college friends, The Flossy Posse, reunite after years apart for a wild weekend in New Orleans. Each woman comes with her own baggage, and, before the weekend is over, they will feel young again, feel old again, and face the differences t...

Not going to lie: Elastigirl was my strange teenage crush The Incredibles was the first movie I saw when the Galaxy Theater in Tulare, CA opened. For ages we had to make the trip a town over to Visalia to catch a movie. But now we had our own theater. It was the night of a play ( A Midsummer Night's Dream ), and my friends and I were still half-covered in stage makeup as we bought our tickets and staggered in, stage-drunk and tired, to see Pixar's new superhero movie. It became, and still is, my favorite Pixar movie. 14 years later, Pixar has released the long-anticipated sequel. And I saw it last night. Summary: The Parrs are trying to get back to life as normal people. Supers, those with superhuman powers, are still illegal, according to the government. When the family is approached by an idealistic millionaire with an eye on supers legalization, they jump at the chance. Or, rather, Elastigirl does: you see, she's going to be the better face of the legalizat...

It is more unsettling than you think to see Hogan without his trademark baby-down halo of hair. He has a... bad wig in this movie. This is an interesting entry in Hogan's oeuvre. It is 1998, Hulk is getting older, and the glory days of the past are starting to get farther in the rearview. It seems like he decided to change tack: make a darker, more dramatic movie than he was used to. Don't get me wrong, it's still a piece of trash, but it does seem to have higher dramatic ambitions than the ludicrous Thunder in Paradise, the family-friendly Suburban Commando , or the coke-fueled madness of No Holds Barred . Summary: Ben "Hardball" Cutter is a mercenary looking for his last big job before settling down with his wife. He gets that case and is assigned the son of a dead mercenary legend, Vince "Cobra" Dean, as his partner. The two discover that the UN Personnel that come to gather the arms that they have just rescued from terrorists are actually...

While I do enjoy watching, and reviewing, terrible movies, I must admit that it is a breath of fresh air to take a (minor) break from HULKACINEMA! and write about something properly incredible. I am a fan of noir. I love the trappings of the genre, and its ability to weave multiple ideas and themes into a single story. I love the fractured people, and their doomed shots at redemption. To say that Babylon Berlin had me hooked from the get-go is an understatement. It is a sprawling noir epic that has seated itself as one of my very favorite new TV shows. Summary: Gereon Rath has transferred to Berlin from Cologne. His mission: root out a pornography ring and get rid of some compromising material pertaining to a family friend. In Berlin, however, nothing is simple, and no one is safe. Before the end he'll deal with communist spies, a rogue branch of the German military, corrupt cops, an on-the-run Russian princess, and PTSD. To say more would spoil it. Pros: A Wonderful Per...

His Look Really Doesn't Change Much I couldn't find this movie streaming on any service: not on Hulu, not on Amazon, and not on Netflix. I did, however, find it, for free, on Youtube. So I decided that I would watch and review this one, sooner than originally scheduled, in order to avoid paying for these movies as much as possible. This one, unlike Suburban Commando, was actually quite a bit of fun. And you can actually track Hogan's growth as an... actor? I mean, he's still very terrible. But he's getting more comfortable in front of the camera, and trying to establish his go-to action film persona. Summary: Randolph "Archie" "Hurricane" Spencer (aka Spence (and billed on IMDB as R.J. Spencer: where the fuck does the J come from? (Yeah, that's a multitude of possible nicknames))) and his partner, Martin "Bru" Brubaker (this movie never met a nickname it didn't like), are ex-Navy Seals who ride around the Florida coast...

This is the face that will surely haunt my dreams Why have I done this to myself? I guess I thought it would be fun. Or funny. But the enormity of what I've committed myself to, the colossal stupidity, dawned on me in the first twenty minutes of Suburban Commando. Summary: Shep Ramsey is an intergalactic... soldier... guy... who kills bad guys... I think. The film isn't really sure, either. Anyway, he kills a bad guy, and ends up on Earth, after wrecking his own space ship in a fit of rage. There he moves in with the Wilcox family, and gets into all kinds of Shenanigans. That is until bounty hunters from outerspace track him back to Earth. Then he has to save... yada yada. It's taken me more effort to write the above summary than it seemingly took to write this entire film. So I'm just going to stop. Pros: Colonel Dusty McHowell: The Wilcox's neighbor, Col. Dusty McHowell, is a former WWII soldier, and looney. He sits atop a decommissioned army jeep wi...

Brother! It is summer vacation, and I have decided to make the most of my newly found free time. To that end, I will be doing two themed series of reviews (one for June and one for July). I will be posting themed reviews every Friday. June's theme is: HULKACINEMA! No, I won't be watching every Hulk movie. I will be doing something better. I will be watching a curated list of Hulk Hogan's "best" movies. There are five Fridays in June, counting today, and each Friday will bring you a weekly dose of Hulkamania (running wild on you (brother)). Check out the list below, pop some 'roids, pump some iron, and strap on your brightest bandana. It's HULKACINEMA! June 1st: Suburban Commando June 8th: No Holds Barred June 15th: Mr. Nanny June 22nd: The Ultimate Weapon June 29th: Thunder in Paradise