Robin Hood (2018)

I didn't want to watch this film. It was an unmitigated flop upon release. It boasts a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. It look absolutely ridiculous.

And yet.

I was drawn to it. Like a moth to a flame. I am a fan of terrible films. I like a good, stupid actioner as much as anyone else. There is a certain amount of fun to be had in movies that give absolutely zero fucks.

So, when the opportunity came to rent it for $6 on Youtube, I snatched it. I couldn't resist.

I. What Is It?

This is the story of Robin Hood. But... forget historical accuracy, and adherence to basic science and physics. This is Robin Hood through a bonkers, balls-to-the-wall lens.

II. Let's Get the Bad Out of the Way First

This film is fucking dumb. That isn't always a bad thing. Especially when the film commits to its own absurdity. If you enjoy movies that ask you to turn off your brain and your pretensions, this will be a good time. If you struggle with all that, this one might not be for you.

The script is a bit ho-hum: it will never be accused of being excellently written, but the dialogue has a certain arch charm, especially when growled by Ben Mendelsohn and sneered by Taron Egerton. It is 100% grade A ham.

Is this film a bit long? At just shy of two hours (116 minutes), it straddles the line for me. Yes, it lulls a little in the second act, but that is all in service to the build to the third act hurly burly. Could it lose some fat? Absolutely. But this film was busy working: it established characters, relationships and a sprawling batshit comic-book medieval world to play in. Given what it accomplishes, I'm surprised that it ONLY ran two hours. This film had eyes on a sequel. Shit, this film had its eyes on a lengthy series of films. And this script is laying the groundwork for those movies: the grand conspiracy involving the church; the establishment, by film's end, of the Merry Men; the new Two Face Sheriff Nottingham. It's a shame this movie bombed so fucking hard. I'd be in line for any sequel.

Is Joseph Trapanese's score a low-key Dark Knight Rises (2008) ripoff? Maybe. But the score does its job. Does this movie really, really want to be Batman? Quite possibly. What the film does really well is rely just enough on the Robin Hood mythos while recontextualizing it in some kind of blender where the Iraq War, Batman and medieval Europe are pulverized into an insane action blockbuster smoothie.

Maid Marian suffers a bit from Cardboard Standee syndrome. Eve Hewson is not a bad actor, by any stretch, but she isn't given a whole lot to work with. It is suggested that she is a revolutionary, but she never really gets to live up to that hype, and that's a shame.

I'm also going to call shenanigans on how the film handles the characters' inability to pronounce John's actual name. That shit is lazy. Be better than that joke. The film liked it so much it made it twice. Blegh.

III. Lets Its Freak Flag Fly

This movie goes hard on modern analogs: crusaders wear flak-jacket body armor and roam around wielding bows and crossbows like machine guns, while lords and ladies strut in costumes right out of a Baz Luhrmann fever dream. Robin Hood is absolutely fucking dumb, but it knows it, and revels in it, and commits to it. You have to respect it for that.

IV. Gorgeous Production Design

Julian Day's costumes are lavish: he blends modern looks and fabrics with historical looks to striking effect. The sets are jaw-droppingly detailed and grand. From top to bottom, this film is a joy to watch. Everything bears a strikingly modern influence and it is clear that the art department was told to disregard history and just have fun. And it appears that they did so. Jean-Vincent Puzos' production design is lush: it looks like it cost every damn penny of its $100 million budget.

And it's all framed by George Steel's striking photography. Steel knows how to shoot tense action with flair and pizzazz. But even the quiet moments in this film are punctuated by a kind of artistic beauty that it is hard not to just take joy in LOOKING at this movie. There are times where the action is slowed down, and we get to see everyone in the throes of battle, with debris falling through the air, and gouts of flame boiling outward. And then there's the use of color: this film balances its drab with occasional bursts of insane color. It switches color palettes from scene to scene, and manages to feel dynamic and exciting, and gorgeous.

V. Committed Actors

Between Ben Mendelsohn's villainous scene chewing and Taron Egerton's infectious idiot-grin every time he survives some impossible action set piece, this film's cast is selling the shit out of the material they are given.

Jamie Foxx is a bad ass. He does this well. His take on John is no different. He's having a ball. He has instant chemistry with Egerton, too.

Paul Anderson gets to ham it up as Guy of Gisborne, and strikes a nice mid-card baddie to Mendelsohn's arch Sheriff of Nottingham.

And then there's F. Murray Abraham. They got F. Murray Abraham for this movie. And it was worth it. He struts around screen with a deliciously malevolent air as The Cardinal. Is he a cartoon villain? Absolutely. But is he having fun? You bet.

This film, for all of its jaw-dropping design, lives and dies on the back of its actors. And they all came to play.

V. Should You See It?

This is probably not a movie for everyone. Or for every occasion. But if you are in the market for some good old fashioned fun, you can hardly do better than Robin Hood. It knows exactly what it is and delivers exactly what it promises.

I am legitimately dumb-founded at the hate this film has garnered. I kind of feel like I saw a different movie. The movie tells you everything you need to know in the opening credits: forget history, forget what you know. If you can do those things, you'll have a good time.

Miscellany

- Famous Youtube archer, Lars Andersen, nicknamed the Real Life Legolas for his feats of archery, taught the cast how to shoot.
- The production team was instructed to design everything a third historically accurate, a third modern, and a third futuristic. This accounts for the film's unique aesthetic.
- Reportedly 95% of the costumes were hand-made.
- The film was nominated for three Golden Raspberry awards in February of 2019: Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Remake, and Worst Picture. It didn't win a single one.
- The film bowed to an $80 million world box office take, against a $100 million budget. This means we aren't going to get that Robin vs Two-Face sequel the film set up so nicely. Sad. Sad.